If You Don’t Want it, Don’t Feed it! ;)

If you don't want it don't feed itIs there anything in your life you don’t want? Problems, fears, worries, conflict, irritations, illness, lack, absence… anything at all?

Here’s a very simple way of getting rid of it. Don’t feed it.

While we were on holiday in Devon one year, a seagull used to come to our door every morning. We knew it was the same one because it had a deformed foot. It used to come and sit on the doorstep and wait. We called it Fred, and talked to it. What it really wanted, of course, was food. One of the neighbours pointed out that the people who were there before us would feed Fred every day; and so, he naturally came back every day for more. She suggested that unless we wanted him to continue to come to us for food, we should not feed him. And if we stopped feeding him, he would eventually not bother to come back.


As it happens, my partner, my son and I had a soft spot for Fred. We loved having him come to visit each day; and so, we fed him. And he never missed a day’s visit. This is generally the case with most animals… and people! If you feed something or someone, they will be more likely to stick around. If you don’t feed them, when they need to eat, they will go elsewhere. Placing your focus on something is feeding it. When you put your attention on an issue, circumstance, possibility, pattern, problem… you feed it. If you stop “feeding” the things you don’t want in your life, they will not stick around. And there is a simple way to achieve this.


Step One

The first step is to become aware of where you are placing your attention and focus – start noticing during the day, what you’re thinking about. An effective way to start doing this is to set an alarm on your phone for every 15 or 20 minutes – and when the alarm goes off, just notice how you’re feeling and what you are thinking about at that time. As you do this more and more, it will become a habit, and you will naturally be aware of what you’re thinking. You will no longer need the reminder.


Step Two

When you find yourself thinking about something you don’t want in your life, for example: worrying about a situation; going over something negative that someone said, or might say; imagining what someone is thinking of you; feeling irritated about something; mulling over something horrible from the news; regretting something you did – or didn’t do; remembering something you missed out on; and anything else that makes you feel less than fabulous, stop, and ask yourself a question. Ask yourself if there is any action you can take right now, to change that situation/ person/ issue.


Step Three

If there is something you can do to change the situation, issue or person, go ahead and do it. If not – if it is beyond your control right now – remind yourself: “If you don’t want it, don’t feed it.” And then choose to turn your attention away from it, right then – in the moment – and focus on something you DO want. Feed THAT instead! Take the “food” (energy) that you were feeding the unwanted thing; and instead, give it to the thing you do want.


That’s it. Simple. Not necessarily easy at first, but simple. It may be difficult to redirect your focus when you first start (like many things, it takes practice and consistency) but the more you do it, the easier it will become; and eventually, it will be come automatic. Remind yourself that where you put your focus is ALWAYS a choice. Always. Even when it doesn’t feel like it. You Always have a choice of where to place your focus.


Extra Tip:

Pick a moment that feels good. You could imagine something like “I won the lottery!” or “He said yes!” or “I DID IT!” or “I got the promotion” – something you would love. And then, whenever you catch yourself feeding something you don’t want, choose to place your focus on that moment instead. In other words, go from “I can’t believe he said that. What’s wrong with him! I bet he….” to “If you don’t want it, don’t feed it!” to “I got the promotion!” and allow yourself to feel the feelings that go with THAT thought instead. By doing this, you are literally changing the chemistry of your brain and body – and you will feel the different sensation in your body.


FEED the FUN Stuff! 😉


As always, don’t hesitate to let me know if you have any questions, or post your comments in the Unconditional Love Forums


Love and Light and Magic

Odille xxx