“Stop Living in a Fantasy World” – The Reality of Facing Reality

Saturday, April 4th, 2015
Fantasy vs Reality

The Truth about “Facing Reality”

Have you ever been told to stop living in a fantasy world and face reality? It sounds logical; it sounds like perfectly solid, down-to-earth advice; and you may have struggled to think of a response – especially if it is coming from someone who seems to have all their marbles in a row. However, if we look a little closer at the reality of this “advice” it is not as … well, realistic… as it may appear on the surface.

 

Let’s look at the reality of facing reality:

 

When a sculptor has a lump of stone in front of him, were he to “Stop living in a fantasy world, and face reality” he would simply sculpt the stone into the shape of … the stone. The reality he is looking at is stone-shaped. If he is to create a work of art, he HAS to use fantasy in order to imagine his creation – a shape that is impossible to see within the current “reality” – in order to be able to create it.

 

Picture a garden that is overgrown with weeds. A gardener, if “facing reality” would simply accept and water the weeds. In order to transform the garden from chaos to order, the gardener HAS to have a vision of what it could look like without the weeds and with different plants. It is only by fantasy that we are able to improve on “what is”.

 

If all humans had accepted the idea of not living in a fantasy world and instead, facing reality, we would still be living in caves. There would certainly be no technology. Every single advancement made by the human race has been as the result of someone “living in a fantasy world”.

 

Okay, so, maybe it’s acceptable for inventors and pioneers, but what about the average person facing the daily struggles of “regular” life? Is facing reality wise and sensible advice for those of us who are not going to invent the next technological leap for humankind? Well, let’s look at the options on a personal and individual level. In the following example, a regular person has two options: A. Face Reality, and B. Live in a Fantasy World. This example is simplified for clarity, but the implications apply on all levels.

 

Sally has a problem paying her bills. Her income is not enough to cover all of her living expenses; and she has been using credit cards which she is unable to pay off. This means that the interest is mounting up, and Sally is getting deeper and deeper in debt. She keeps hoping she’ll win the lottery  … Keep Reading

 

Why I Won’t Wish You a Happy 2015

Tuesday, December 30th, 2014

 

 

champagne-542024_1280 (2) Instead of wishing you a happy 2015, I’d like to remind you that you have the power to make 2015 happy for yourself! 😉 I see a lot of posts on social media along the lines of “I hope next year is better than 2014!” and “2015, please be better than last year!” and so on. The funny thing is that the remote control for the kind of year each person will have is firmly in their own hands! Most people do not realize this of course, but it is true nevertheless. No matter what is going on in your life, you have a lot more control over it than you may think. There is only one New Year’s Resolution you need in order to make 2015 infinitely better than 2014!

 

The Only New Year’s Resolution You Need

There is in fact one simple thing you can do in order to make 2015 infinitely better than 2014. It may seem far-fetched at first, but there is a perfectly down-to-earth, logical explanation. Make the decision to do whatever it takes to feel good.

 

Here’s Why:

This is about more than just feeling good; it is about achieving better tangible results in all areas of your life. When you feel good, you make different decisions and choices than those you make when you are not feeling good. The majority of what happens in your life is a direct or indirect result of the choices and decisions you make.

When you are feeling good you are more likely to be active and less likely to overeat or eat comfort food…. to find out more about why and how to prioritize feeling good, continue reading here: Why I Won’t Wish You a Happy 2015 

 

 

You’re Sitting On It!

Sunday, November 9th, 2014

 

TVFor some people, hearing that they are responsible for everything that happens to them in life means they are to blame for all of the bad stuff that happens. This is one way to look at it, and it is a natural initial assumption. However, the truth is more like the TV remote control. The remote control changes the channels, volume and other factors relating to what you see on your TV screen. If what is showing on your TV is not what you want to watch, you start looking around for the remote control. If you don’t know where it is, you may understandably assume that someone else in the room is hogging it, and that it is they who are responsible for what you are seeing on the screen.

 

You may try to convince them to change the channel; and they will probably argue that they either cannot change it, don’t want to change it, or have no idea what you are talking about. The truth is, they are looking at a different screen.; and the remote control they are holding will only work on the TV they are watching, it has no effect on yours even if they do try to change your channel for you.

 

What you may not realize is that you are the only person who has access to the remote control for the TV you are watching. This means that as long as you can figure out where that remote control is, and how to use it, you can change the channel as you wish. The fact that you don’t know where the remote control is (or even that you have one) means that the channels on your TV are not your fault; but it also means that when you do find that remote and figure out how to use it, you have complete control over what you are watching on that TV. As long as you have your remote control in your hand and know how to use it, you get to choose. No-one else can use your remote control, which means that no-one else can change your channels.

 

So, why are you watching programs that you don’t want to watch? Why can’t you change the channel? And where is that remote control?

 

You’re sitting on it. That’s really the only explanation. You’re sitting on it, but you don’t know that you’re sitting on it. And each time you move, you randomly and unknowingly press various buttons, that result in the unwanted channels on the TV you’re watching. This is not your fault of course – you’re not sitting on it on purpose; but it means that when you finally realize that you’re sitting on it, and you pick it up and learn how to use it, you will have complete control over what you watch on that TV.

 

Life is exactly the same. Yes, the results we see in our lives are a direct result of the settings on our own remote controls, but for those who are sitting on their remote control and don’t realize it even exists, never mind where it is or how to use it, these results are not their fault, they are just a consequence of the unfortunate position of their butt. (Okay, that’s not an ideal analogy, but you get the idea).

 

Rather than being an accusation and assignment of blame, finding out that everything in your life is a result of nothing and no-one but you,  is in fact the most empowering realization you could ever experience. It is the equivalent of being told that although you thought someone else had the remote control to your life, and you were at their mercy, YOU have the remote control, and no-one else can use it. Then it’s just a case of locating the damn thing and figuring out how to use it! 😉 “You Have a Superpower” is the most effective way I’ve found to find and learn to use your remote control to change the channel of your life to whatever it is you choose.

 

As always, please don’t hesitate to ask any questions you may have.

Love and Light and Magic xxx

 

The Institute of HeartMath and You Have a Superpower!

Saturday, November 1st, 2014

 

Wow! Just came across this video by the Institute of HeartMath and it sounds… familiar! 😉

It’s the same topic as my new book, although I’ve not come across the IHM before. My book appears to be a “layman’s view” of what the IHM have been researching.

“You Have a Superpower” is the same subject from a more personal, “down-to-earth” and practical angle. How fascinatingly fun! :)

The animations in this video are excellent!

 

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For more information on the Institute of HeartMath, you can visit their website here: http://www.heartmath.org

How to Change Perspective from “What Is” to “What Will Be”

Monday, September 29th, 2014

 

What Is vs What Will Be
When you look at a garden that is overgrown and full of weeds, and you want to make it into a beautiful place with flowers and a well-kept lawn, you have to keep your focus on the vision you have for it – what you want it to be – in order to create it. If you keep focusing on the weeds, and the current state of the plot of land, you’ll never be able to create the beautiful garden.

 

Your life is exactly the same. Choose to look at your life as a piece of land. If it’s not the way you want it right now, think of it as an overgrown garden. You need to take your focus off the “weeds” and the “mess” and keep in mind what you are creating instead. Just because the garden is currently overgrown with weeds doesn’t mean it has to stay that way. 

 

Here are a few steps you can take to use this change in perspective to improve your life:

 

1. When you wake in the morning, as soon as you open your eyes, say a phrase to yourself that represents the life you want. If you got what you really want, what would you say when you wake up and remember you’ve got it? Say that. Then keep that feeling of excitement and gratitude. Although you don’t have it yet, you are working on your garden, by holding the vision and feeling of it in your focus.

 

2. When you look at the things in your life that you don’t want, choose to look at them as weeds in your garden. Do you know what the best “weed-killer” for the garden of life is? It’s the most effective brand of “weed-killer” I’ve come across. The power of unconditional love. Use your Superpower on your weeds – spray them using the Superpower exercise. And, just as garden weed killer takes a little time to work, you’ll notice that unconditional love might take some time with certain weeds, to take effect. But it WILL take effect. Give each “weed” a good drenching with it to make sure! :)

 

3. Whenever you catch yourself focusing on “what is” instead of on what you want, remind yourself that you have to keep your focus on the finished project in order to create it. A gardener cannot create a beautiful garden by focusing only on the current state of the weed-ridden plot; a sculptor cannot create a statue by focusing only on the lump of stone; and a renovator cannot create a beautiful building by focusing only on the current state of the damaged one. They have to focus on the vision of what they are creating in order to create it. It is the same with life. You have to keep your focus on the vision of what you are creating in order to create it, rather than on the state it is in right now.

 

No matter what happens in your life, you always have a choice of what to focus on. Although it may not seem that way sometimes, you always choose where to put your focus – whether that is consciously or automatically. Begin to make the conscious choice to see your life as a creation. Focus on the end result you are creating instead of the current state of the “raw material”, and you will automatically create the life you focus on!

 

As always, let me know if you have any questions.

Happy Gardening!

Love and Light and Magic

Odille xxx

 

Why Isn’t It Working?

Wednesday, July 2nd, 2014

Why Isn't It Working?

 

It’s interesting, we accept that a plant takes time to grow, and most of us don’t keep digging it up to see if anything’s happening, and yet, when it comes to using tools to make changes in our lives, we expect instant results. It’s natural to WANT instant results, of course, but EXPECTING them comes with the danger of giving up before we see those results. 

Considering most of us have spent almost all of our lives becoming who we are right now – we’ve spent that long ingraining those beliefs, and solidifying those habits and patterns, it’s not a bit surprising it will take some time to change them. For them to change, luckily it’s not going to take as long as that, but it is going to take some time. We need to keep reminding ourselves of this.

Whatever method you’re using to try to make changes in your life by making changes inside yourself, if it’s worked for others and isn’t working for you so far, take a look at these few things:

 

Questions to Ask Yourself Before Giving Up

 

  • Have you been doing it consistently exactly as directed?
  • How long have you been doing it, and how does that compare to the time spent by those it’s worked for?
  • Are you being completely honest with yourself when you say you’ve been following the directions consistently?

 

If you’ve answered yes to the first and last question, and you’ve answered “the same amount of time or longer” to the middle question, then it may be time to find something else. Because the patterns, programming, core beliefs and habits in each person are unique – caused by the unique life experience of each individual – there will be some methods that work for some people and not for others. And there will be combinations that will work for certain people. But if you don’t ascertain first that you have genuinely followed the directions exactly, consistently, and for long enough to be reasonable, then you’ll miss out on methods that would have worked for you if you’d stuck at it long enough.

When you need to clean a cooking pan that is really dirty with caked on, burnt food, you know that soap, scourer, and water clean stuff. They clean your dinner plates and coffee mugs. But you wouldn’t expect that caked-on, sticky, burnt food pan to take the same amount of time and effort as it takes to clean your coffee mug or a dinner plate. You know you’ll need to put in more effort, and it will take more time to get the pan clean.

It’s the same with self development. Some things will change quickly (they’re the coffee mugs and plates) others will need more time and effort (like the really dirty pan). Just as you wouldn’t rinse that pan under the water with a bit of soap and a wipe, and then decide that soap and water don’t work because the pan isn’t clean, it’s important to recognise that often, when you try a method a few times, and don’t see any changes (the “pan is still dirty”), it doesn’t necessarily mean it doesn’t work, or that you’re “doing it wrong”, it may mean it just takes longer than you expected. And reminding yourself how long you’ve had the habit or pattern concerned will help to put it into perspective. After all these years of living that way, if it takes a few months to change it, that is still pretty good going in comparison! 😉
Most importantly, be patient with yourself, and be your own cheerleader!

Are You Judging Someone for Being Judgemental?

Thursday, June 26th, 2014

It’s a funny thing, when you think about it. If you’ve made a decision to stop being critical and judgemental, and then you come into contact with someone who is habitually judgemental of others… it’s an automatic, instinctive reaction to consider them “wrong”. But if you are truly being non-judgemental and non-critical, wouldn’t you simply allow them their reactions and opinions regardless of what those may be? Judging the Judgemental

 

I’ve been practising not judging or criticising – myself as well as others… and then I caught myself in the act of judging someone else for being critical and judgemental.  This person is extremely critical of others, and I found myself noticing that, and unmistakably judging! The idea of not judging or criticising is to become more allowing. That means allowing even those who are doing precisely what you’ve decided you will no longer do.

 

It’s a fascinating feeling when you choose to not judge the one who is being judgemental, to not criticise the one who is critical. Try it, it’s surprisingly liberating! :)

 

Use the Non Judgement Day Game to improve your skill. And each time you reset the start time, you’ll find you’re able to last longer and longer. Keep resetting the time and watch your score increase each time you play. Invite a friend to play it with you. It’s fun to compare your times.

 

Remember: The aim of the game is to see how long you can last without judging or criticising anything or anyone – and that includes yourself and your own actions! 😉