Why Isn’t It Working?

Why Isn't It Working?


It’s interesting, we accept that a plant takes time to grow, and most of us don’t keep digging it up to see if anything’s happening, and yet, when it comes to using tools to make changes in our lives, we expect instant results. It’s natural to WANT instant results, of course, but EXPECTING them comes with the danger of giving up before we see those results. 

Considering most of us have spent almost all of our lives becoming who we are right now – we’ve spent that long ingraining those beliefs, and solidifying those habits and patterns, it’s not a bit surprising it will take some time to change them. For them to change, luckily it’s not going to take as long as that, but it is going to take some time. We need to keep reminding ourselves of this.

Whatever method you’re using to try to make changes in your life by making changes inside yourself, if it’s worked for others and isn’t working for you so far, take a look at these few things:


Questions to Ask Yourself Before Giving Up


  • Have you been doing it consistently exactly as directed?
  • How long have you been doing it, and how does that compare to the time spent by those it’s worked for?
  • Are you being completely honest with yourself when you say you’ve been following the directions consistently?


If you’ve answered yes to the first and last question, and you’ve answered “the same amount of time or longer” to the middle question, then it may be time to find something else. Because the patterns, programming, core beliefs and habits in each person are unique – caused by the unique life experience of each individual – there will be some methods that work for some people and not for others. And there will be combinations that will work for certain people. But if you don’t ascertain first that you have genuinely followed the directions exactly, consistently, and for long enough to be reasonable, then you’ll miss out on methods that would have worked for you if you’d stuck at it long enough.

When you need to clean a cooking pan that is really dirty with caked on, burnt food, you know that soap, scourer, and water clean stuff. They clean your dinner plates and coffee mugs. But you wouldn’t expect that caked-on, sticky, burnt food pan to take the same amount of time and effort as it takes to clean your coffee mug or a dinner plate. You know you’ll need to put in more effort, and it will take more time to get the pan clean.

It’s the same with self development. Some things will change quickly (they’re the coffee mugs and plates) others will need more time and effort (like the really dirty pan). Just as you wouldn’t rinse that pan under the water with a bit of soap and a wipe, and then decide that soap and water don’t work because the pan isn’t clean, it’s important to recognise that often, when you try a method a few times, and don’t see any changes (the “pan is still dirty”), it doesn’t necessarily mean it doesn’t work, or that you’re “doing it wrong”, it may mean it just takes longer than you expected. And reminding yourself how long you’ve had the habit or pattern concerned will help to put it into perspective. After all these years of living that way, if it takes a few months to change it, that is still pretty good going in comparison! 😉
Most importantly, be patient with yourself, and be your own cheerleader!

One Response to “Why Isn’t It Working?”

  1. Prerna Gupta Says:

    I am so moved by all these solutions and the way every situation is being addressed, also for many of my untold problems I got the solution now. Thank you very much for sharing.

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